For the previous Coconut Queen posts, visit the NeverEnding Stories Tab at the top of this page!

And have you inquired whether your puppy, kitty, fish, octopus, giraffee or water buffalo will attend the Pond Puppy Ball?

Reservations are required by May 28!  All RSVPS should be e-mailed to the Blond Duck, planner of the ball.

And now, for the Coconut Queen….

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Gulping so loud the sound rang in her ears, Essie May followed Miss Louise up the ancient staircase.  With every tentative footstep, the stairs creaked in irritated protest.  At the top of the staircase lay a long hallway marred by several dark wooden doors and a worn paint speckled Oriental rug.  Without a word, Miss Louise glided down the hall.

Cold sweat beaded on Essie May’s lower back as she followed Miss Louise down the hall.  Heavy dark frames on the wall highlighted oil paintings of stuffy individuals with curled lips and heavy curled hair, paired with hunting dogs or golden instruments.  They passed an open door.  Peeking in, Essie May forced herself not to giggle.  Myrtle was twirling in the center of the room singing at the top of her lungs.  Her lacy black and hot-pink slip fluttered around her withered knees as her unrestrained chest jiggled merrily.   Clapping her hand over her mouth, Essie May scurried after Miss Louise before she burst out laughing.

Miss Louise stopped at the fourth door on the left, which was a lighter color than the others.  Pulling a thin iron key from her sleeve, she unlocked the door and pulled it open.  A blast of warm air slapped Essie May in the face.  Peeking around Miss Louise’s shoulders, she gasped.

“A hidden stairwell!”

Miss Louise merely grinned.  Flipping on a buzzing single lightbulb swinging from a chain, she began to ascend the stairs.   Essie May looked back at the hallway filled with Myrtle’s off key singing and sighed.  Biting her lip, she followed Miss Louise up the stairs.

They had entered heaven.

Lush flowers and grand trees surrounded a gentle burbling creek pouring from a stone waterfall.  Brilliant shades of purple and pink flowers burst from thick green shrubs lining a stone pathway.  The air was filled with a rich sweet smell.  Essie May could feel her hair curl from the humidity as she pressed her nose to a bright blue flower with yellow streaked petals.  Miss Louise led her to to a small gazebo and patted a wooden bench.

“Miss Louise, this is wonderful!” Essie May gushed, plopping down at the gazebo.  She gazed around, smiling when she saw windows to the outside of the house hidden behind a tree.   “I can’t believe you have a garden in your attic!”

“Just part of the attic,” Miss Louise corrected.  “This is actually Myrtle’s domain.  Only she had the imagination and insanity to put a tropical garden at the top of this old house.  If our conversation goes where I think it might, I’ll take you to my part of the attic.”

Essie May hoped that the coversation would go in whatever direction Miss Louise was hoping it would.

“You see, my dear,” Miss Louise drawled, “I think you and your mother are playing me for a fool.”

Essie May blinked.  She had no idea what direction this conversation was going to go in.  “Ma’am?”

“Essie, darling, I’ve been a beauty queen all my life,” Miss Louise continued, her voice lazy but her words sharp.  Her eyes roamed around the garden and floated down the creek as she spoke.  “I’ve won every county and city beauty contest within 100 miles, not to mention Miss Texas.  I even placed in the Nationals one year.  For many years, I was Miss this and Miss that.  I even won Mrs. Texas once, a few years after I was married.  Just for fun, you know.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Essie May bobbed her head up and down.

“As you can imagine, I’m very high in demand.”  Miss Louise examined her fingernails as she spoke.  “The past few winners of the Coconut Queen have paid me hefty sums for my consult.  Beauty queens from around the South seek my services and ask me to speak at their engagements.”

She dropped her hand and leaned forward, her light blue eyes focused on Essie May.  “So why should I help you?”

Essie May bit her lip.  With a sigh, she shrugged.  “Honestly ma’am, I can’t tell you why.”

Miss Louise leaned back and raised an eyebrow.  “You can’t tell me why something was so urgent you had to rush over here on a Sunday morning?”

Essie May chewed on her lip.  “To be frank, ma’am, my mother would die if I’m not Coconut Queen,” she admitted.  “I mean, I’ve got no problem with it, of course.  It just seems so….so…”

Miss Louise leaned over so far Essie May was sure she would topple onto the floor any second.  “So what?” she breathed, her eyes snapping.

“Pointless,” Essie May finished bluntly.  “I mean, back when girls couldn’t really go to college there was one way out of Coconut, so it made sense.  But I want to do something more with my life than wear a crown.  I want to go to college and study grand things, maybe become a vet or a animal specialist or something.  And I know you can get scholarships through the beauty pageant, so that’s the only real reason I agreed to it.  But it’s just not…”

Miss Louise raised an eyebrow.  “Fun?” she finished.

“Yes,” Essie said, breathing a sigh of relief.  “All this dancing and starving and classes!  I love to dance and I’m thrilled I can dine with kings now without spilling something on myself.  But I’m tired of it being my life.  Sometimes, I just want to go to my friend’s ranch and ride horses with her.  Or maybe I want to go read a book or go for a swim.  But my life is scheduled with every moment dedicated to becoming Coconut Queen.”

“Then why not drop out?” Miss Louise inquired.  “Why compete?”

“My family,”  Essie May replied.  “My mother and sister would be crushed.  And to be frank, I’ll do anything to keep Queenie from winning.  She’s just a terrible person.  Meaner than a one-eyed snake.  I’d walk over hot coals if it kept her from winning.”

Miss Louise stared at her for a moment.  “There’s something else you neglected to tell me.”

Essie May shrank back.  She had been afraid of this.  Her hands began to sweat.  She brushed her feet across the floor, averting Miss Louise’s gaze.

“Tell me,” Miss Louise cooed, her blue eyes burning a hole through Essie May’s cheek.  “Tell me what it is.”

“I can’t.”  Essie May shook her head so hard that her hair slapped her in the face.

“Sure you can,” Miss Louise coaxed.  “Tell me.”

Essie May leaned her head back and stared at the gazebo cieling.  Pressing her face between her damp palms, she mumbled, “I hate coconut.”

She waited to be ordered to leave or for Miss Louise to call the cops.  But all she heard was cackling laughter.

She peeked through her fingers.  Miss Louise was beaming from ear to ear and giggling like a child.  “I knew I liked you, Essie,” she chortled, leaping to her feet.  “Come on, dear.  There’s much to see.”

To be continued…

Stay tuned, Invisible Friends!  We’ve got a new tasty recipe tomorrow and a new Twirl on Friday!  And this weekend, we have a new fabulous creative woman!  Stay tuned!

Photos from Google Images.