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For Dallas Jean Lee, even a protest was a party.

Much to Adelaide’s delight, and to Grayson’s silent horror, Dallas Jean Lee not only hired a band for the protest at the petting zoo; but a DJ, a bounce house and juggler for little ones, a cotton candy machine, a trio of unicycling-harmonica-playing entertainers and a bellydancer named Star.  The Junior League was manning no less than a dozen different tables selling baked goods and drinks with all the benefits going to the Save The Evans Road Petting Zoo Animals.  Adelaide’s husband had sent down his entire team of legislation lawyers, and her poker club friends were holding a tournament to raise their payment.  Adelaide’s psychic friends were holding palm readings, while Dallas Jean Lee’s sorority sisters had taken over the local branch and manning a kissing booth.

The press was beyond thrilled and had 24/7 coverage focused on Dallas Jean Lee and her husband.

The town was curious, with whispers and giggles blowing through every diner and salon in town.

Greyson was terrified to leave his law offices.

Clementine Jane was thrilled, trilling to anyone who would listen about how she would get a Pulitzer before college.

Only Dallas Jean Lee seemed genuinely bewildered as to what the big deal was.

The morning of the petting zoo protest, she was setting up with Adelaide while Clementine Jane bounced around and took shots.  She was the lead reporter on the story for the whole paper, much to the envy of the veterans and associate editors.

“Mom, do you know what this means?” Clementine Jane babbled, bouncing as she took a picture of Dallas Jean hanging signs.  “You could be famous for this.  My editor told me that CNN and Fox News have been sending him e-mails asking what’s going on.”

“Did he tell them?” Dallas Jean asked absently as she pulled out a pink hammer out of her rhinestone tool belt.

“Nope,” Clementine Jane replied with a smirk.  “He wants to scoop them.”

“He should have told him,” Adelaide hissed, a new goat munching on her skirts as she helped the junior league president set up tables.  “We would have gotten more press.”

“The point of this isn’t press,” Dallas Jean  pointed out.  “The point is to convince that horrible little man to save the animals and take better care of his zoo.  Kids should be able to pet critters without worrying about malaria.”

“Something evil happened in this place,” Adelaide whispered, her eyes rolling as she flung out her arms.  “We must exorcise the demons!  Cast out the negativity!  Set forth and free the spirits trapped in this soul-less–”

“I got an order for a dozen bales of hay!” a truck driver interrupted with a shout, leaning out a window as he pulled up.  “Where do you want it?”

“Right there,” Adelaide replied, blinking.  “What was I talking about?”

“Spirits trapped in a soul-less…” Dallas Jean supplied.

“Right,” Adelaide continued.  “This soul-less prison for these wonderful animals!”  She wrapped her arms around a llama.  He nibbled her chin as a goat stuck a head under her skirt.  Inspired, the junior league president cooed at one of the baby pigs.  He snorted in response.

“And that’s what we’re going to do,” Dallas Jean replied, hanging her final sign.  She held up the baby chicks chirping in her rhinestone-encrusted tool belt for inspection.  “What do you think?”

The chicks bobbed their heads in approval.

“Me too.”  Dallas Jean smiled.

Three hours later, chaos reigned.

As the entire town and most of the surrounded area crowded the tiny road to pursue the bake tables and bounce house, Dallas Jean, Adelaide, the junior league and random people who felt like shouting were marching about the perimeter of the zoo, waving signs and bellowing at the top of the lungs.

“Don’t be cruel!  Free the petting zoo!” one crowed.

“Save the animals!” another cried.

“Bring back the positive energy!” one of Adelaide’s psychic friends cried.  Dallas Jean would have never said anything, but she thought she was a bit granola.

Suddenly, a red tractor burst through the Evan’s Road Gate, barreling through one of the poker tables.  With a leer, Billy drove straight toward the marching group.

“I’ll show you!” he bellowed, his voice crazed with rage.  “You and these bleeding hearts are ruining me and my farm!  Well, I’ll make sure you can never bother me and my animals again!”  With a maniacal cackle, he hit the gas and barreled toward Dallas Jean’s blond bouffant.

“Sherrif!”  Clementine Jane cried, running after him and scribbling as fast as she could.  “Sherrif!  Help my mom!  Billy’s going to kill her!”

The sheriff cried a word that many giggling children repeated for weeks and leaped into his cruiser.  He sped towards the tractor, lights flashing and sirens wailing.

Dallas Jean watched in horror as Billy sped towards her, his features stretched in a sickening grin.  Shoving the baby chicks and piglet into Adelaide’s arms, she dug her spiked heels into the ground and ran the opposite direction from the other protesters.

“If you want to fight Billy, let’s fight!” she bellowed over her shoulder.  “But fight with me, not him!”

Billy merely cackled in response, whipping the tractor around so fast chunks of mud slammed into several volunteers.  Gunning the engine, he barreled towards her.  Gasping for breath, Clementine Jane jumped into the side of the sheriff’s car.  Rearing the engine, he floored it after Billy.

“Your mom can run really fast in high heels and a tight dress,” the sherriff remarked admiringly, jamming his foot into the gas.  Her heart in her throat, Clementine Jane’s hands sat still on her notepad as she watched the terrible scene unfold in front of her.

Panting and cursing the fact she wore a thong to avoid pantylines, Dallas Jean Lee tumbled into the woods.  She could no longer see the edge of the petting zoo or the crowds of guests.  Tripping over a log, she slammed into the ground and found herself with a  faceful of dirt and leaves.  An engine roared to her left.  Shutting her eyes, she grit her teeth.

A long arm snaked around her middle, grabbing her up so she was flying through the air.  The strong arms pulled her into the back of a pick up truck with such a force her rump vibrated off the side wall of the bed. Dallas Jean didn’t have to look at the owner of the arms.  She knew the hands as well as she knew her own.

“Well, honey, I think this is a bit much for a protest.”

“Hello, Grayson.”  She grinned, a leaf stuck between her front teeth.  “Is the media watching?”

“Fox and CNN,” he promised.

“Good,” she replied, rubbing her hands with a giggle.  “We’ll have these animals out tonight.”

As the sheriff and his deputy cornered Billy and forced him to the ground, the growing crowd of spectators, former protests and junior leaguers gathered around cheered.

“Thank you,” Dallas Jean cried, her blond hair sprinkling leaves as she jumped up and down.  “Thank you for coming out, everyone!  I’m sure this amazing turnout will let us buy the property from Billy”–

“I’ll never sell!” he bellowed, craning his neck as police shoved him into a car.

“There are ways around that,” one of the legislative lawyers muttered.

“And now we can save the animals!” Dallas Jean  continued, beaming.

“And if it’s not enough money, I vow that if I’m voted mayor, I’ll make sure the animals here get proper care!” Grayson shouted behind her.

Dallas Jean felt every eye in the room turn from her to her husband.  She saw her daughter scribbling furiously, whispering to a photographer.  Glancing towards the cab, she saw Norman’s reflection in the mirror.

He was smiling.

Stay tuned, Invisible Friends!  We have a brand new critter confessions tomorrow and then a new week of whimsical fun!  Stay tuned!