If I were the Queen of Hippos…
If I were the Queen of Hippos,
I would be teach them to dance all day.
We would twirl and leap,
Bound and jete,
And spin across the muddy ponds, tails wiggling and jaws swinging with glee.
If I was the Queen of Hippos,
I would start a protest,
Against all those who think hippos are dirty and smelly,
mean and murdurous,
Cranky and oderous.
Instead, I would strive to show,
that hippos are just like the ordinary joe–they’re just simple, plain, ordinary folk!
They love to swim, love to eat,
and have ginourmous knobby feet.
Rather than be swevlte like those dratted zebras,
they keep it real with large bellies and ample ‘tocks.
And since hippos love to sleep,
They’re usually quite sweet.
If I were the Queen of Hippos,
I would be an instructor in hippo water aerobics.
We would roll and twirl,
wallow and waller,
wearing pink swimming caps and yellow booties,
And do grand belly flops as finales.
If I was Queen of the Hippos,
We would have a baby Hippo parade.
All the adorable little babies would waddle up and down the road,
their little fat rolls thick, their tiny tails twitching, their little ears wiggling;
Singing at the top of their lungs,
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotomus would do,”
As everyone clapped and cooed.
There’s nothing cuter than a baby hippo.
Don’t you agree, Queen Bitty?
I’ll take that as a no.
If I was Queen of the Hippos,
my final act would be to declare,
A day to celebrate hippo ‘tocks*.
Large and floppy,
Grey and droopy,
With a tiny tail and a grand mass,
Hippo ‘tocks are not just any ‘tocks–
They are spec’tockular!
In what other creature can you find,
‘tocks that size and span?
Elephants may be large,
but their ‘tocks droop in folds,
And rhinos might be wide,
But their ‘tocks are dusty and dull.
It is truly the hippo ‘tocks,
That deserve a celebration.
A party worthy of grand ‘tocks,
with plenty of cheer and jubilation.
If I were the Queen of Hippos,
Life would be grand for these beasts.
Twirling and dancing,
rolling and wallering,
aerobics and bellyflops,
With parades and great feasts.
I suppose,
one can dream…
Stay tuned, Invisible Friends! We have a new Isadora tomorrow and a delicious recipe Thursday, followed by a new Dallas Jean Lee and a whimsical Saturday! Stay tuned!
*= The Pond recognizes the origin of ‘tocks from Cuteoverload.com.
If you liked this, check out my book of short Christmas tales perfect for reading during holiday shopping breaks or your nephew’s five hour Christmas symphony…available at Amazon.com or here.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:30 am
Where did you get that pic of the hippos in bed? Too cute!
November 10th, 2009 at 5:24 am
The baby hippo is the cutest.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Talk about some enourmous animals!
November 10th, 2009 at 5:42 am
I think this is the first time I’ve thought of hippos as cute!
November 10th, 2009 at 5:47 am
Man! I guess my butt doesn’t look so bad after all…..LOL!
November 10th, 2009 at 6:13 am
I think Hippos are cute! You cannot tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humour when he created some of these animals!
November 10th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Only you Duckie would want to be Queen of Hippos!
You and the little girl that wants a hippopotomus for Christmas! The baby ones are kinda cute.
~ingrid
November 10th, 2009 at 6:33 am
I want to hug that baby hippo!
November 10th, 2009 at 6:58 am
I want a hippo
Great story as always! I’m in love with the baby hippo picture. They are just so darn cute!!!
November 10th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I like the hippos (from afar, I’m a little skeered). But if you were the queen, I wouldn’t be skeered anymore.
November 10th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Oh so cute…I absolutely LOVE hippos!
November 10th, 2009 at 7:30 am
I think I might be queen of the hippos daaaahling! Had another unfortunate incident with one of those 3 way mirrors today that give you a nice good look at your backside. I was not amused lol
November 10th, 2009 at 7:46 am
I’ve never looked at hippos in such a cute way!
November 10th, 2009 at 7:55 am
OOOHHHH the baby one!
November 10th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I love hippos! They way they bounce across the bottom of the water is so cute! It makes them look so light and bubbly.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:01 am
After all, they are not so ugly!!!
I wonder which is the difference between If I were and If I was!
November 10th, 2009 at 8:05 am
I think a week’s vacation inside your brain would be one of the most interesting trips ever taken.
Really woman, what are you smoking?
…and where can I get some?
November 10th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Is it wrong that now I want to take a hippo home and hug it? You’ve made me fall in love with hippos!
November 10th, 2009 at 8:28 am
I want you to sit down, lest the green eyed monster knocks you off your feet. My husband has a hippo collection. It’s huge. He’s coming close to 100 of them. The two of you would get along famously.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I love Hippo’s!! I used to love Henrietta Hippo, when I was younger…(From an old, old show that finally stopped airing in the 70’s) in case you were wondering…
November 10th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Oh, you’re good. Now on top of my two kids and two crazy dogs, I want to bring a couple of hippos in here. I’m going to be in SO much trouble when my husband comes home!!
November 10th, 2009 at 9:36 am
You’re so cute but I somehow can’t seem to find the same joy in hippo ‘tocks that you do!
November 10th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Cuuuuute!
November 10th, 2009 at 9:39 am
This was wonderful, fantastic!! Thanks for coming to Bee Wise Bags. Sorry my comment platform is such a pain… because it really is!
So I appreciate your persistence! 
November 10th, 2009 at 9:42 am
I would have to agree with some of the above, this is the first time I looked at Hippos as cute!
November 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am
So cute, the baby hippo is ADORABLE!!! My friend just self published a book called “the Duck with No Legs, you can read about her at my blog…..or go to her site http://www.sillybird.com (click on books)
will be following now,
come on by!
Cameron
http://www.conquerthemonkey.com
November 10th, 2009 at 9:50 am
nothing cuter than a baby hippo? i beg to differ. they’re the freakiest looking things, but hey, at least hippopotami is a fun word to say.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Hippos are the 5th most dangerous animal on the continent of Africa. And tell Queen Bitty she gets my vote as cuter than a hippo.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Funny, I feel like a hippo today.
Damn halloween candy.
November 10th, 2009 at 11:05 am
This post really cracked me up! LOL
November 10th, 2009 at 11:12 am
aw, i love hippos! when we go to the aquarium, they’re the first thing we go look at, cute post!
November 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am
“Dratted zebras”… haha! So funny. What a cute rhyme!!
**dropping by from SITS**
♥Miss Dot
November 10th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Such a cute story. And I love the pictures!
November 10th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
the hippo pics are wonderful!
November 10th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I love the pic of the hippos in bed…adorable! And the drawing of the ballerina hippo is super cute too!
November 10th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
If you were queen of the hippos then I would be one too! Oh what fun we would have!
November 10th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
love, Love, LOVE this! And Bitty’s correctamundo…she’s WAY cuter than a hippo. I also have to say that I’m feeling a tad “hippo-ish” right now…
November 10th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
I am reminded of, I think it was the original Disney Fantasia where the Hippo was the ballet dancer.
What a lovely tribute to Hippo buttocks. Only you could make them seem honor worthy!!!
November 10th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
You are quite the creative one! We love the hippo Christmas song in our house. Nice to hear from you. I am due on Christmas day- a baby boy. Can’t believe that it is right around the corner.
Jen from Creative and Curious Kids!
November 11th, 2009 at 5:21 am
I’ll concede they’re cute, but you can’t stop me from thinking hippos are killers! Oh, those murderous hippos…
November 11th, 2009 at 8:23 am
You are too cute to be queen of the hippos!
November 11th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Love this, especially the dancing hippo!
November 11th, 2009 at 11:22 am
cute tale and cute pics. Cute all round. You have made me take a second look at hippos and their tocks! xxoo
November 11th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Your posts always make me smile, what a lovely hippo story
November 11th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
LOL – you are a breath of fresh air Duckie. I laughed when I read this. “Tocks” is a new word in my vocab – and the great thing is that I can comment on someone’s tocks, and no-one here has a clue what I am talking about!
November 11th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I nominate you Queen of the Hippos!
Ah, can I be a lady in waiting?