Rosemary had a problem.

She was craving muffins.

Big, lush, pumpkin cream cheese muffins.

For most women, cravings weren’t a problem.  They could simply pop into their cars and drive wildly to the nearest bakery.  They could take a walk and chew some gum until it passed, or comfort themselves with a cookie instead.  Or if they were the industrious sort of woman, they could run to the store and rush back and bake the muffins themselves.

But unfortunately for Rosemary, on that blustery fall day, her cravings created a different reaction entirely.

It all started so innocently.

“You know what I want?”  Rosemary brushed a strand of red hair behind her ear, raising her coffee to her lips and turning to her friend Hazel.

“Chocolate.”  Hazel’s eyes glittered.  It was three o’clock on another dull work day, and time for the traditional food musing. The time when one could dream about what ever one’s heart and stomach desired, without having to worry if husbands or kids would eat it or if it would stick to their thighs for a week.

“Nope.”  Rosemary licked her lips, staring dreamily out the window.  “Guess again.”

“Pie.”  Hazel narrowed her eyes at Rosemary’s pleased expression.  “Cake.  Coffee cake.  Chocolate cake.  Chocolate pudding.  Chocolate ice cream.”

“It’s got nothing to do with chocolate, you addict!” Rosemary giggled, swatting at her friend.  “I swear, you always want chocolate.”

“What sane woman doesn’t?” Hazel countered.  “Especially on a fall afternoon like this.”

“It’s a perfect fall afternoon,” Rosemary said dreamily, staring out at the orange leaves dancing around the parking lot.  “A cool breeze, gorgeous blue sky, trees of gold and red, acorns scattering the sidewalks like little presents…”

“They’d be better presents if they were chocolate,” Hazel murmured, sipping her latte.   “So what is it?  What’s your craving?”

Rosemary paused dramatically, waiting just a fraction of a second.  “Pumpkin muffins.”

Hazel rolled her eyes.

“But not any pumpkin muffins.”  Rosemary sighed, hugging herself.  “Pumpkin cream cheese muffins, with just the right amount of spice and thickness.  So creamy, so lush, crumbling in your mouth….”  She ducked and laughed.  “You don’t have to hit me.  I know you’d prefer chocolate and cream cheese.  But I want pumpkin.  Big pumpkin, cream cheese muffins.  OW!”  She ducked away again.  “Stop!”

“I’m not doing anything!” Hazel raised her hands, bewildered.  They had been wrapped around her steaming cup, her palms still red.  “I was drinking my latte.”

“Something hit me in the head, twice.”  Rosemary frowned and turned to look behind her.  She and Hazel sucked in her breath simultaneously.

Two pumpkin muffins lay on the floor.

“Do you think…” Rosemary whispered.

Hazel shook her head.  “It can’t be.”  She glanced around the empty room, gulping.  “Someone heard us and is playing a joke.  A mean joke!”  She raised her voice, her eyes stern as they raked over the silent room.

Rosemary bent down and picked up a muffin.  Gingerly, she cracked it in half.  A large blob of white lay in the middle.  She looked up at Hazel, her eyes wide.  “I know it’s sad, but this really makes me want another one.  A whole pile of them.”  She held it up to her nose and inhaled.  “Ah, smell that!  Pure pumpkin goodness.”

Hazel started to laugh, then froze.  “Did you hear that?”

Rosemary licked her lips, a tiny bit of drool pooling at the corner of her mouth.  “I can smell it.  It smells like pumpkin cheesecake muffins!”  Laughing, she flung out her arms and spun around as pumpkin cream cheese muffins began to rain down over them.  Covering her head, Hazel glanced around her elbow.  “I can’t even tell where they’re coming from!”

“Who cares?” Rosemary crowed, grabbing fistfuls of muffins and shoving them into her mouth.  She moaned, stuffing muffin after muffin between her lips.  “Theses are so good!  Oh my God!  Have one!  Have two or three!”

“How come you get dozens of muffins and I don’t get a single thing of chocolate?” Hazel grumbled, picking up a muffin and biting into it.  She closed her eyes briefly, then inhaled the remaining muffin.  “I hate to admit it, but these are really good,” her mumbled voice said as she picked up two more muffins.

“They really are.”  Rosemary’s voice was even more garbled, her cheeks puffed out like a binging hamsters.  “Oh my God, do you know what we need with this?”

The two friends looked at each other and said in unison, “Ice cream.  Vanilla ice cream.”

Above them, the ceiling rumbled.   Glancing up tentatively through crossed arms, Hazel’s face went pale.  “Rosemary?”

“What?”  Rosemary was busy nibbling on her sixth muffin.

“Duck.”

Before Rosemary could even look up, perfect scoops of ice cream sprinkled from the ceiling, splattering against her back and crashing against the floor.   It pelted against her suit jacket, slid down her flat ironed hair and dribbled on her face.

As Hazel sputtered and went running for the nearest table, Rosemary shrieked with laugher, dipping the muffin in the ice cream dripping from her elbow.  “This is more delicious than I thought!” she cried, shoving the sopping pumpkin and cream cheese mass in her mouth.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” Hazel grumbled, glaring at the vanilla ice cream raining down around her.

As mountains of muffins, accompanied by a river of melting ice cream rose around them, Rosemary patted her bulging belly and grinned.  “I know it’s weird, but you know what would go great with this?”

Heather dove under a pile of muffins for protection, refusing to respond.

“Hamburgers,” Rosemary mused.  “With French Fries.  Or fried chicken.  Or spaghetti.”

The ceiling rumbled for a third time, and Rosemary licked her lips.

At that moment, she knew their three o’clock craving would never be the same again.

Stay tuned, Invisible Friends!  We have a week full of whimsical fun!