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“I don’t think you understand.”  Sassi tried to smile at the policeman, but the corners of her mouth were worn thin and stretched too far.  She was tired, she was cold and her butt hurt.  And after the Mexican cheesecake incident, there was a lot more of it to hurt.  ”I’ve never taken martial arts.  I don’t do kickboxing.  I don’t know how to do anything that I did.”

The cop was cute.  That was the only reason she didn’t knock the sneer off his face.  ”Miss”–

“Call me Sassi,” she interrupted.  ”I hate my real name.”

“Ok, Sassi.”  His lips twitched, something she didn’t appreciate in the slightest.  ”So you’re telling me that you randomly took down a masked killer we’ve been chasing for months?”   He leaned forward, his voice rising as orbs of blue bored into her.  ”The killer that took out half the mall last month?”

Sassi tossed her hair over her shoulder, rolling her eyes.  ”It was instinct or something!  Too many episodes of Buffy.”

“Who?”  He blinked.

Sassi sighed.  ”Listen, Detective”– She squinted at his name tag.  ”Star–As fun as this has been, I’d really like to go home now.”

Detective Star leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.  ”Are you sure there’s nothing you’re not telling me?”

Sassi’s patience shattered.  ”You know, you’re all ridiculously rude.”

Detective Star lurched forward, the feet of his chair smashing against the tile.  ”Excuse me?”

“I’ve had a traumatic experience,” Sassi sniffed.  ”No one’s brought me water or offered me a cookie or a snack…all you’ve done is make me feel like I committed a crime.  I saved people!  Doesn’t that count?”

Detective Star didn’t blink.  ”Do you want a medal?”

Sassi perked up.  ”Can I have one?”

“No.”

“Then why did you offer me one?” she demanded.  ”That was even meaner.”

“I didn’t offer you one, I just asked if you wanted one.”  Detective Star stood.  ”If you’re sure there’s nothing else you can tell me…”

“Nope.”  Sassi bounded to her feet, bouncing.  ”All I need is the bathroom.”

“This way.”  Detective Star opened the door and pointed.  ”I’ll be waiting in the lobby to take you home.”

“Why can’t I drive home?”  Sassi answered before he could.  ”Right, my car’s at the gym.  So you’ll drive me to my car?”

“The gym is closed right now for a crime scene.”  Detective Star held up his hands as her eyes narrowed.  ”I’ll see what I can do.”

“You do that.”  Turning on her heel, Sassy marched into the bathroom.  It took every ounce of strength not to break into a full-blown sprint.  That grande cappuccino was not the greatest pre- interrogation beverage.  Sliding through the door, Sassi dashed into the nearest stall and slammed the door, rattling the hinges.  As the sounds of sweet relief filled the air, she froze as a burly hand shot towards her ankle.  She slammed her foot down, crushing the grasping fingers into the tile.  A scream pierced the air as she hastily jerked up her lycra pants.  Leaping on the toilet, she peered down at the curly-headed figure in the next stall.

“WHAT are you doing?” she snapped.

“Mending my broken fingers,” he moaned, cradling his purple hand in the crook of his elbow.

“Why should I be worried about some creep stalking women in the girl’s bathroom?”  Sassi wished she’d been wearing high heels instead of cross trainers.

“Because I’m not a creep.  I’m a reporter.”  He flashed a white badge at her.  ”I’m here to help you.”

Stay tuned, Invisible Friends!  A new week of whimsy awaits! 

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