From the Bloodhound Chronicles, by Hank C. Hound ( a story really written by the Blond Duck)
It’s raining again.
You know what that means.
No afternoon walk, no backyard romp, just a long day of stalking dust bunnies and laying about. Any day a dog can avoid a bath, even one from nature, is a good day indeed. Besides, all we have to do is wait until the clouds go away. All you have to do, young pup, is position yourself by the door.
No, not that door. The side door. The one closest to the yard. Yes, I know the toilet is delicious and there’s all sorts of intoxicating smells but you can sniff those anytime. Is the kitchen by the front door? I didn’t think so. Get your furry butt over there. Finally– you know, when I was a pup, we used to have to sleep on cold tile floors in thirty degree houses– I digress. Wait carefully. Act like you’re interested in your paws. Don’t let the humans onto anything– they’re suspicious creatures, like cats. Ready, set…Go!
Oh, the freedom! Oh, the smells! Yes, yes, there’s mud, but first you must sniff! Then scratch. Isn’t that delicious? The rain melds into the grass and all the smells seep out, just waiting for our noses to drink in the intoxicating aroma of beetles and potting soil. What do you mean, you can’t smell? What kind of bloodhound are you? Press your nose to the ground and take a deep breath. Put the bug back– he doesn’t deserve to die like that. Now scratch and dig as hard as you can! Roll in the mud, splash in the puddles–can you smell the clouds yet?
Of course they want to give you a bath, but we’re not through. Slide under the gate, that’s right under that bush, and head to the freedom of the street. The aroma of long-soaked urine on telephone poles and mailboxes fills the air, with oil-slicked tire tracks leading us to anywhere. That’s right you’ve got the hang of it now. Sniff and scratch, sniff and scratch.
Count your blessings you’re a bloodhound.
Stay tuned, Invisible Friends! A new fun post mañana!
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